Where's the Van?

Well I just returned from province council and I am awaiting Crystal's arrival so that we can depart from MD Anderson. Province council was a blast. Nothing like staying up until 5 am drinking Jim Beam Black out of a coffee pot because there weren't any cups in the Hilton the night before you have a conference and job interview scheduled at 8 am. Good times Good times. Luckily I do not think it affected the job interview because I got invited to Lexington in the upcoming weeks to "discuss the position." Everyone sounded pretty positive and one interviewer stated that he was "very impressed" by my interview and thought that I would be an asset to KA. Like "eh Duh" I mean this is me we are talking about here. Of course I am impressive and an asset. But let's not put the cart before the horse here I have not be officially offered the job yet. I do believe it to be a foregone conclusion at this point.

However, one thing is complicating the issue. I think I am going to apply for the assistant editor of education publishing at Beford/St. Martins in Boston. If I am offered that job it will be a tough decision, and I think it may come down to compensation. Commitment to an order that means the world to me, and has given me many of my best friends or a position that would greatly advance my career, and reward me financially as well. Decisions, Decisions. Being an adult really is an ass whip at times.

As I mentioned earlier, Province Council really was a blast. The participants were me, KP, T Spoon, Spoony, Skinsy, Daniel, Cox, Cam, and Spunge, Davion (who really needs to take a look at female selection methods while drinking, and just for the record D, while I do support your right to choose whoever you want, and acknowledge the fact that you were the only dude to hook up with a chick at province council, the fact that you felt the need to defend yourself so vigorously ("she's 35 dude") as to her attractiveness makes me suspicous as to your guilt for hooking up with a woman that Skinzy actually labeled "double coyote ugly.") and Chris Coker (who takes his waffle house way too serious, and gets a bit too defensive about it by the way). I want to go on record right as to who was actually there now because as the legend increases about this province council that list of attendees will magically expand. We had/drank a bath tub full of beer (roughly 150 milwaukee lights, stones and coors light on saturday night and I will post a picture of it as soon as I can get get a copy from one of the others.

Friday night we spent the night in the Hotel because we had to get up early. A lot of fucking good that did. I think we might have actually gone to bed earlier if we had gotten smashed at a bar. You know it is a good time when you get stuck between floors in an elevator trying to find the room where the KAs from another chapter are hiring a stripper, and you get stuck in said elevator for 35 minutes and the first thing management says after freeing you from the piece of shit is "Hey guys you really need to keep it down. " Good times, Good times.

Saturday night we actually tried to party at some bars in Sundance Square but T Spoon wasn't 21 so we couldn't get in anywhere. We ended up buying a bunch of beer and going back to the hotel and drinking beer until the sun came up. Before the sun up portion of the evevning, however, we went waffle house and there wasn't enough room for us to sit down, and I actually thought Coker was going to try to kill us all if he did not get to eat at waffle house. We ended up at Denny's however and were served by Roseanne Barr. At least I think it was Roseanne because it was hard to tell at 5 in the morning after playing quarters for three hours and drinking roughly 25 beers. However I am standing by my contention that it was in fact Roseanne. Maybe it was a "broke ass Roseanne Bar" (to continue that game) but a Rosanne Bar none the less.

However I would like to clarify why the title of this post is "Where's the Van?" but I want to see if anyone listens to Dane Cook. Nothing like having 14 drunk guys randomly quoting various comics all night and at Denny's while your waitress is trying to take your order. Part of the story was us renting two vans to take everyone to province council, the other part comes from Dane Cook's comedy show. Chris Coker is also now one of my heros. We were going to the council meetings on Saturday morning and drag racing from red light to red light. Coker opens the door and leans out to spit. While he is doing this the light changes and KP floors it to take off. Without even taking the time to close the door, or to stop spitting Coker floors it and smokes the tires on the miny van and manages to overtake KP while leaning out the door. It really was a sight to see and confirms my belief that if I ever have enough money to form sprint car racing team Coker will be my driver.

One last note: I think Elise and Jeremy have begun an on going discussion on minority dating and post colonial theory. I would like to say that I FIRMLY believe that this will NOT go anywhere productive and that they end up mad and/or really pissed at one another at some point. I am willing to begin taking bets at 2-1 anger occurs at some point over this discussion, and I will give 15-1 they end up fighting outright over it. Loss of friendship is a long shot, but I will give 30-1 that it may occur. Jeremy can be a really insensitive white male (me too, more than him, and this is the main reason while I will not be joining this little fracus) and Elise can be a really sensitive minority/female which are not two good combos when debating. It should get interesting. I will keep you posted.